The Toon Patrol or The Weasels are a gang of anthropomorphic toon weasels with very suitable names, who serve as henchmen to Judge Doom and the secondary antagonists of the 1988 live-action/animated film Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
In the film, The Toon Patrol are the law enforcers of Toontown, although they behave more like vigilantes and mercenaries. Judge Doom has hired them to arrest Roger Rabbit for the murder of Marvin Acme. Their vehicle is a black 1937 Dodge Humpback panel truck which serves as a paddy wagon. The vehicle is fitted with official City of Los Angeles "Toon Patrol" decals on the front doors.
Like all the other Toons in the movie, the Toon Patrol are invincible to physical body harm except from the chemical blend called "Dip."
In the case of the weasels, it is shown that prolonged laughter is also lethal to them; while Eddie Valiant jokes around in front of them during the climax of the film, all except their leader, Smart Ass, die from laughing at him; Smarty meets his demise after Valiant crotch-kicks him into a vat of Dip. Whether or not the weasels knew that Doom was a Toon himself is never confirmed, but their relationship with him may hint that they had no knowledge of such.
The design of the Toon Patrol and their switchblades was inspired by the weasels in the 1949 Disney cartoon Wind In The Willows.
The Toon Patrol also plays a major role in the "Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin" attraction at Disneyland.
- Smart Ass or Smarty is the brains and leader of the Weasels. He is ranked a sergeant by Judge Doom. He has brown fur and wears a light pink double-breasted zoot suit coat with a gold chain in the left pocket, a white dress shirt with a reddish pink, bedjewelled tie, a matching hat, and spats on his feet. His weapon of choice is a revolver, though in the bar scene, he is shown threatening Eddie with a switchblade. He is the smartest, cleverest, and wittiest of the weasels. He is also arrogant, bossy, and a bit fussy. Although very sarcastic, he is the straight-man of the group, possessing the most self-control and least "toony" attitude. While he is very antagonistic in the film, he seems to care about the other members of The Toon Patrol; he is the first to warn them about what might happen to them if they can't control their laughter. However, like them, he still enjoys a good laugh, himself. He commits a malapropism almost every time he speaks, such as when he says that a tip on Roger's whereabouts has been "corrugated" ("corroborated") by several sources. He is the third weasel to die at the end of the film, although not by losing control of his laughter. Upon disagreeing with a lyric in the song Eddie "entertains" the weasels with, Eddie kicks him in the crotch, sending him flying into the mixer on the Dip machine, where he dissolves and dies.
- He is voiced by David Lander.
- Greasy is allegedly the runner-up for leader of the Weasels and Smarty's second-in-command. He is Puerto Rican, and has long greasy black hair and dark brown fur. He wears a green zoot suit styled trench coat and trousers hiked up to his chest, partially obscuring a pink tie and white dress shirt, and spectator shoes; he appropriately resembles a zoot suit gangster from the L.A. "Zoot Suit Riots" of the 1940s. Like his compatriot Stupid, Greasy is overweight, although this does not appear to have affected his self-esteem. Of all the Weasels in the film, Greasy is most eager to fight, and yields a switchblade as his weapon of choice, though he is also seen carrying a semi-automatic pistol while investigating Eddie's office. Greasy is mostly shown speaking English with a strong Puerto Rican accent, but he curses in Spanish when a bear trap hidden in Jessica's cleavage clamps down on his hand as he frisks in between her breasts, and when Roger shoots into the Acme Factory via a storm drain, carrying Greasy (who was standing on top of it) with him towards the ceiling. He appears perverted, as he quickly takes Judge Doom's orders to search Jessica for Marvin Acme's will as an opportunity to feel her. Greasy is the fourth weasel to die after losing control of his laughter, and drops dead out of the cab of The Dip Machine. He also made the dip machine move because he lost control of his laughter and let go of the breaks when he fell out of the cab of the dip machine.
- He is voiced by Charles Fleischer, who also voices Roger Rabbit and Benny the Cab.
- Psycho is the most insane weasel in the gang. He wears an unbuckled straitjacket, has blue eyes with yellow and white swirls and his weapon of choice is a straight razor. He only has two lines in the film; he first speaks as he prepares to shoot dip at Roger and Jessica, when he says "Time to kill the rabbit" and when he waves "Bye-bye" after he dies. He apparently gets excited by the concept of killing, as he is heard gleefully laughing when Judge Doom kills the toon shoe in the bucket of dip; he is nearly drooling in anticipation as Smarty attempts to drive into Benny the cab, and he takes it upon himself to shoot the dip at Roger and Jessica. On a few occasions, it is implied that he enjoys pretending his straitjacket is buckled by hugging himself tightly, namely when he exits the Toon Patrol's car in his first appearance, and while laughing after Eddie stuffs a bar of soap into Smarty's mouth. He remained a threat after his death; he lost control of his laughter and hit the nozzle switch on the spray canon and fell, and trying to hang on something but hung on to the yellow handle which made the nozzle canon turn left, which resulted in him slipping off of it as his soul rose out of the warehouse. Then he turned the pressurized dip spray back at Roger and Jessica. He is the last weasel to die, not by losing control of his laughter, but by losing his footing and dropping on the giant rotating brush of the Dip Machine.
- He is also voiced by Charles Fleischer.
- Wheezy is the smoking weasel, and has a mouth full of several smoking cigarettes. He wears a whitish mashed bowler hat in which he carries an additional stash of cigarettes, a black vest, a loose tie, and a wrinkled shirt. His weapon of choice is a Tommy Gun but he only uses it once in the film (when he shoots around Eddie Valiant's doorknob to open the door), preferring to use physical combat. He appears afraid of dying, as he is seen unsuccessfully trying to pull his soul back into his body, although when it breaks free, it does not appear regretful. He has blue fur while his comrades have brown fur. If he doesn't have cigarettes in his mouth while speaking he has a deep voice and when he does he has a very raspy voice. He speaks twice in the film; after Roger and Eddie free Benny the Cab, and in the Acme Factory while tying Roger and Jessica up. He is the second weasel to die after losing control of his laughter and also presumably from too much smoking.
- He is voiced by June Foray, which led some to believe that Wheezy was a female.
- Stupid is the dumbest member of the gang. He is clearly overweight, while all the other Weasels are fairly slim. He wears a blue and white striped T-shirt, a red beanie with a propeller and white sneakers with untied laces. His weapon of choice is a baseball bat with a nail through it. He is so stupid that he is seen hitting himself over the head with his own weapon while laughing. He has one line in the film, when he excitedly informs Judge Doom that Toon Town is on the other side of the wall in the Acme Factory, which he and Wheezy are drilling open. He is the first weasel to die after losing control of his laughter and his body is seen clutching a lily.
- He is voiced by Fred Newman.
- During production, there were going to be seven weasels rather than five, much like the Seven Dwarves. The other two were named "Slimy" and "Flasher." Other names considered were Crazy, Sleazy, Scummy, Ragtag, Hunter, Antoine, Copy, Drunk and Twitchy. However, only Slimy and Flasher made it to the sketch stage and no voicework for them was ever completed. Slimy was a black weasel with 1950's greaser attire who puked slime (and, just by looking at his concept art, could also be playing in it) and carried a blackjack as a weapon. Flasher, as his name implies, wore a trenchcoat, but did not carry a visual weapon. The conceptual art of these characters is included in the 15th anniversary DVD edition of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?.
- Also, there is an unnamed weasel in Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin. He is a dark brown weasel who wears a grey baggy hat, a white button-up shirt and dark cadet-blue baggy suspenders. He was voiced by Will Ryan. His origins are unknown, though some names have been suggested by fans, notably "Sleazy."